


Butter and Bread

by Agapostemon



Series: Cardboard Castles [9]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Light Angst, Matt Holt has PTSD, POV Shiro (Voltron), Platonic Cuddling, Sharing a Bed, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Slav (Voltron) has OCD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-04 21:58:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10291055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agapostemon/pseuds/Agapostemon
Summary: The plan had seemed questionable enough at the time, but it seems exponentially worse now that Shiro is actually standing in a hotel room with his two coworkers, his best friend, his best friend’s little sister and her roommate, and—perhaps worst of all—his best friend’s PhD advisor, whose OCD has an uncanny way of setting off Shiro’s own anxiety.This is going to be a long weekend.





	

**Author's Note:**

> _Content Warnings_ : Cursing, a whole lot of anxiety (descriptions of compulsions, nightmares/flashbacks and anxiety attacks)
> 
> This takes place the fall of Hunk's third/Pidge's second year of college, between [Fill Me In](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9512381/chapters/21514565) and [Dreams and Disasters](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9810818). Can be read alone.
> 
> (No Keith or Lance in this one, because I cannot think of a single reason they would be at an engineering conference on the other side of the country in this AU. They're probably babysitting Allura's rats for the weekend.)
> 
> Character Ages for Reference:  
> Slav - 53  
> Coran - 50  
> Allura - 29  
> Shiro - 29  
> Matt - 27  
> Hunk -20  
> Pidge - 18

In hindsight, they probably should have thought this through better. But in their defense, it’s not like they had many other options. The plane tickets to and from Boston had drained most of their resources. So, in a moment of desperation, Coran had suggested that they simply share a hotel room for the duration of the National Engineering Expo.

All seven of them.

“It’ll be like the old days!” he’d announced with a twirl of his mustache, “One time when I was in grad school, I crammed myself into a bed with three classmates for an international engineering conference! We didn’t even know each other beforehand. It was great fun, really. A real bonding experience for us all.”

“Ooh ooh, that sounds fun!” Hunk agreed with a clap of his hands, “I like bonding.”

The rest of them were less keen on the idea, but no one else had anything better to offer.

\--------------

The plan had seemed questionable enough at the time, but it seems exponentially worse now that Shiro is actually standing in a hotel room with his two coworkers, his best friend, his best friend’s little sister and her roommate, and—perhaps worst of all—his best friend’s PhD advisor, whose OCD has an uncanny way of setting off Shiro’s own anxiety.

This is going to be a long weekend.

“So,” Shiro says, setting his suitcase down and looking around, “Has anyone put anymore thought into who’s sleeping where?”

“We can figure it out later!” Pidge says impatiently, hovering near the door with a tablet tucked under her arm, “C’mon, we’re gonna miss the keynote.”

“Which, might I remind you, is catered,” Hunk licks his lips.

“Free food _and_ free science!” Matt grins.

Allura frowns, “Frankly, this whole experience is the opposite of free.”

“Alright, alright,” Shiro says, “We can figure the beds out later. Let’s go.” He herds them out the door, pausing to look back at Slav, “You coming?”

Matt’s advisor hums thoughtfully, his chin resting in one hand as he squints intently at the two queen-sized beds in their hotel room.

“We’ll figure it out later, Slav. It’s time to go to the keynote dinner,” Shiro says.

“No, no, this won’t do…” the lanky older man shakes his head.

“What won’t do?” Shiro growls. They’ve been in Boston for less than two hours, and he can already feel the frustration rising in his chest. (Though the cross-country flight hadn’t exactly done wonders for his nerves. Plane rides aren’t nearly as fun after surviving a plane crash, as it turns out.)

“The beds are asymmetrical,” Slav declares with a deep frown.

“The beds… are asymmetrical,” Shiro repeats slowly. He can feel the side of his face twitch slightly.

“Yes,” Slav says, “The table should be directly in the center of the wall, and the beds should be spaced evenly around it.”

“Is that so,” Shiro says dryly.

“We need to fix it,” Slav announces.

“We?” Shiro raises an eyebrow.

“You are stronger than I am,” Slav points out. He’s not wrong.

“Alright, fine,” Shiro gives in, “After we get back from the keynote dinner, I’ll grab Hunk and we can help you rearrange the furniture to your likings.”

“Alternately, we could do it now,” Slav suggests.

“Seriously?” Shiro groans.

Slav just shrugs.

Shiro sighs and pulls out his phone.

> _Shiro (7:03pm): Can you bring back some food? I don’t think Slav and I are gonna make it to the keynote tonight._
> 
> **Matt (7:04pm): what? why? keynote dinners are the best!**
> 
> **Matt (7:04pm): i mean, it’s a keynote… AND a dinner? what could be better.**
> 
> _Shiro (7:04pm): …the beds are asymmetrical._
> 
> **Matt (7:04pm): ah**
> 
> **Matt (7:04pm): i see**
> 
> **Matt (7:05pm): yeah, I got your back. have… fun rearranging the hotel room?**
> 
> _Shiro (7:05pm): I’ll… try._
> 
> _Shiro (7:05pm): Thanks buddy._

With that, he tucks his phone away and looks back at Slav, “Okay, Matt’s bringing us dinner later. Are you sure you wanna miss the keynote, though? Can’t we just… fix the room later?”

Slav shrugs again, “Ryner is a personal friend of mine. I already know what she’ll be talking about in the keynote. I would much rather fix the beds. That way, I can sleep properly tonight and be energized for my presentation tomorrow!”

Shiro snorts bitterly, “Not sure any of us will be sleeping properly, tonight. I can’t believe Coran and Hunk talked us into cramming seven people onto two beds.”

“Oh, I am not sleeping in a bed tonight,” Slav says matter-of-factly as he sets to work taking measurements of the room, “I will be sleeping by the window.” He pauses to point at the window alcove. It looks much too small and poorly-padded to use as a bed… but if Slav wants to sleep there, Shiro isn’t going to stop him.

After that, the discussion turns to optimal furniture arrangements, and Shiro spends the next twenty minutes or so pushing furniture around according to Slav’s instructions. This would have been infuriating if Shiro actually cared about the keynote dinner, but in reality it’s kind of relaxing. The physical labor calms his nerves far better than sitting in a crowded room, listening to a lecture that he only partially understands.

Once the furniture is spaced to Slav’s likings, he and Shiro sit down on opposite beds, facing each other.

“We can still catch like half the keynote if we head down, now,” says Shiro, wiping sweat off his forehead.

“Is that what you would like?” asks Slav.

Shiro thinks for a moment, then responds, “Not particularly.”

“Me neither,” Slav replies, “Too crowded.”

Shiro gets the sense that conferences aren’t Slav’s favorite part of his job. He shoots the older man a sympathetic smile, “Let’s just sit this one out.”

Slav nods and flops down backwards onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. It’s quiet enough that Shiro can hear him counting under his breath. He wonders if that’s a symptom of his anxiety or just something he does to soothe it.

“You nervous about your presentation tomorrow?” Shiro asks after a couple minutes.

“Oh, that? No. I have presented this paper before at a local conference. Presenting it again will be easy,” Slav says, “I am much more worried about all the people. There are so many things that could go wrong in a place with so many people. Especially engineers. Engineers are the absolute worst.”

Shiro has to laugh at that. It’s kind of true.

“They are, though! There is a 73% chance that something will explode in this convention hall before the end of the weekend. And a 97.3% chance that my pamphlets and business cards will be left in a state of complete disarray within an hour!”

“That sounds about right,” Shiro chuckles.

“What about you?” asks Slav, still staring up at the ceiling, “Are you nervous about your presentation?”

“The one with Allura and Coran?” Shiro asks, “Nah. I’ll just be talking about my job for an hour and a half. We’re basically just explaining how to teach high schoolers about engineering on a shoestring budget. Besides, it’s not until Sunday. I’ve got plenty of time to mentally prepare myself.”

“That is good,” says Slav, “What about the other presentation?”

Ah, right. The other presentation. The one he’s been trying not to think about. Of course Slav would draw attention to that. “That’s not my presentation,” he says carefully, “Matt and Pidge are presenting. I’m basically a glorified poster board.”

“Glorified poster boards are allowed to be nervous,” Slav says, “Assuming said glorified poster board is in possession of an amygdala… which this one is.”

Shiro takes a deep breath. In for six. Hold for six. Out for six…

“I’ll take that as a yes,” says Slav, almost smugly.

Once again, he’s not wrong. Shiro is hardly thrilled about the idea of dozens of people looking at him like he’s some kind of science experiment. It makes perfect sense for him to be there to demonstrate when Matt and Pidge do their presentation about his arm. And he trusts Matt and Pidge. He knows they don’t think of him as a glorified poster board. But the audience… his stomach clenches.

“You are allowed to be anxious, you know,” Slav’s voice cuts into Shiro’s thoughts, “Look at me, I am always anxious! I get by alright.”

Shiro snorts, “I’m not you, though.”

“Not in this reality, you aren’t,” Slav replies with a sly smile, “However, my point stands. You are allowed to be anxious. It is easier to address the problem when you admit that there is a problem to be addressed.”

Shiro just grunts in response. He doesn’t particularly want to address this problem. He’s afraid talking about it will open the floodgates and leave him anxious for the rest of the weekend. He’s already dangerously close to that threshold, and he can’t afford to let anything tip him over the edge.

“Alternately,” Slav says, finally sitting up, “We could just play chess.”

Now _that_ is a plan Shiro can get behind, “You brought a chess board to an engineering conference?”

“Digital chess,” Slav corrects, “Chess boards stress me out. It takes too long to make sure the pieces are centered in the squares.” He shudders at the thought.

With that, they pull out their laptops and launch into a game of online chess.

\--------------

Shiro and Slav are on their second game of chess when the rest of the group returns to the room. Slav pummeled Shiro during their first game, but Shiro is doing much better this time around. They’re pretty much neck-and-neck.

“We’re baaa-ack!” calls Matt as he throws open the door, plopping down paper plates full of leftovers next to Shiro and Slav.

“That! Was so! Cool!” Pidge says, starry-eyed, “I can’t believe you guys missed it! It was all about the similarities between natural and artificial systems. But don’t worry, you didn’t miss out completely. I took a video to share with Keith, so you guys can watch that if you want.”

Shiro moves to close his laptop, but Slav waves frantically at him, “No no, we have to finish!” So Shiro begrudgingly takes his turn before taking a bite of what appears to be butternut squash. It’s lukewarm but otherwise delicious.

“Y’know, I woulda been happy to help with the furniture,” says Hunk, eyeing the newly-rearranged room.

“It’s fine,” says Shiro, “It was kind of a nice way to unwind after the flight here.”

Hunk grimaces, looking a little sick just thinking about the flight, “Eugh, yeah. Let’s never do that again.”

“I have some unfortunate news for you,” says Allura dryly, draping herself over the desk chair, “We have to get back to Arizona somehow, and the plane tickets have already been purchased.”

The flight there had been nothing short of an absolute disaster. Hunk had thrown up no less than four times, Slav had spent the entire five-hour flight calculating the probability of their demise, and Matt had launched into the first of several panic attacks the moment they took flight. Which Shiro had tried to walk him through, despite the fact that he was halfway in a flashback and just shy of having his own panic attack. Slav’s doom-and-gloom calculations hadn’t helped with that, and Shiro vaguely recalls snapping at him at least twice.

In short: it hadn’t been fun for anyone involved.

“I have an idea,” says Shiro, only half paying attention to the chess game that he’s now most definitely losing, “Why don’t we stop thinking about airplanes and start thinking about where everyone is sleeping tonight? Most of our presentations are tomorrow, so we need to be well-rested.”

“An excellent plan, my good fellow!” Coran declares with a clap of his hands, “As a matter of fact, I have a sleeping chart already printed off if you’ll give me a moment to dig it up!”

“I am sleeping in the window,” Slav says matter-of-factly, then adds, “Check.”

Shiro absentmindedly moves his king out of the way, watching out of the corner of his eye as Coran rummages through his briefcase. He’s pretty sure Coran hasn’t cleaned out or reorganized his briefcase in at least a decade, and it shows.

“Ah, here it is!” Coran announces, waving a piece of paper above his head, “I’ll just make a little edit to account for Slav’s preferences, aaand…” he pulls out a pen and scribbles something onto the page, “Voila!”

“Can I see, can I see?” asks Hunk, pushing his way over to look at the chart, “Woo, I’m with Pidge and Matt!” He does a small happy dance.

“Yes sir! And I’ll be sharing the other bed with Allura and Shiro,” says Coran with a sagely nod, “Is everyone in agreement with this arrangement?”

“Sure,” Shiro shrugs distractedly.

The rest of the room chatters affirmatively.

“Well then, with that decided,” says Allura, “I think we should all start getting ready for bed. We need to be prepared for tomorrow, like Shiro said.”

“Perfect timing,” says Slav, finally looking up from his computer, “Check mate.”

Shiro lets out a grunt of frustration, then closes his computer and smiles up at Slav, “Good game.”

“The same to you,” says Slav, carefully shutting down his computer and tucking it away in his bag.

\--------------

Getting ready for bed is a lengthy process with seven people and one bathroom, but they do eventually manage. By 10pm, everyone is in bed with the lights out… and wide awake with their phones in hand, because most of them are night owls and it’s still only 8pm back in Arizona. The only exception is Hunk, who’s already snoring softly with one arm draped haphazardly across Pidge’s midsection.

After about ten minutes of lying awake, Shiro’s phone buzzes, revealing a text from Matt.

> **Matt (10:15pm): i kinda feel like i’ve been confined to the kiddie table over here :P**

Shiro lets out a snort of laughter, earning him a stern look from Allura.

> _Shiro (10:15pm): Hey, at least you’re sharing a bed with your sister instead of your boss._

Matt cackles to himself and Shiro shoots him a glare.

> _Shiro (10:16pm): …whatever innuendo you’re currently cooking up over there, I don’t wanna hear it._
> 
> **Matt (10:16pm): what about reading it? you wanna read it?**
> 
> _Shiro (10:16pm): No._
> 
> **Matt (10:17pm): aww come on, you’re literally in bed with allura. just let me have this one.**
> 
> _Shiro (10:17pm): Nope._

Matt sets down his phone and sulks melodramatically for a bit, then picks it back up to continue texting Shiro.

> **Matt (10:19pm): hey, on a scale of snorlax to hoothoot how sleepy are you?**
> 
> _Shiro (10:19pm): Hoothoot. Definitely hoothoot._
> 
> **Matt (10:19pm): same**
> 
> _Shiro (10:20pm): Did you take your sleep meds?_
> 
> **Matt (10:20pm): i may or may not have forgotten them in arizona**
> 
> _Shiro (10:20pm): Would you like to borrow some of mine?_
> 
> **Matt (10:20pm): please?**

Shiro leans over the edge of the bed and rummages through his bag for a pill bottle, which he tosses to Matt. Matt takes a pill (dry-swallowing it, to Shiro’s mild horror) and tosses the bottle back. He misses his mark by a long-shot, somehow managing to bounce the bottle off of Coran’s forehead (earning only a confused grunt in response) and send it rolling into a distant corner. Shiro rolls his eyes and shakes his head in response to Matt’s sheepish grin.

It doesn’t take Matt long to drift off after that, but sleep continues to elude Shiro. He manages to outlast even Pidge, who has a renowned disregard for sleep.

It’s not that he can’t sleep, exactly. Had he taken his own sleep meds, he likely would have fallen asleep not long after Matt. The problem is that he doesn’t want to. He knows he needs to, of course, but it’s hard to fully convince himself of that fact. The last thing he wants is to wake up six other people if he has a nightmare. So he lies awake, forcing himself to hold still so he doesn’t disturb Allura and Coran’s sleep.

But sheer force of will can’t hold sleep at bay forever. Exhaustion from the day’s travels and boredom from holding still eventually take over, and Shiro finds himself drifting off sometime after 1am…

\--------------

He jolts awake, gasping for air and uncertain where he is. He expects to feel cold metal, so the sensation of soft fabric around him doesn’t quite compute, sending him spiraling into a cloud of unreality. He feels like he’s falling, falling, falling so fast that he can’t breathe—

“You called?” says a familiar voice, tugging him back from the edge of panic.

Shiro looks up to see Matt hovering over him, holding his arms out for a hug.

“Matt!” Shiro sobs, wrapping his arms around Matt’s torso and burying his face in his chest. He’s still not certain where—or when—he is, but he’s suddenly very relieved that Matt is here. And alright.

Matt pulls Shiro’s head to his chest with one hand and uses the other to rub up and down his back, “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay and so am I. All of us are.”

All of us? All of—shit. Reality fades back into focus, and Shiro is suddenly acutely aware of five pairs of eyes staring at him and Matt. Five pairs of very awake, very worried eyes. Shiro pulls away from Matt and looks around the room. Pidge looks sympathetic but unsurprised, but beside her Hunk looks like he’s ready to cry. Coran is holding out a cup of water for Shiro to take, Allura looks like she wants to reach out and touch him but isn’t sure if she should. Slav’s eyes are as wide as saucers in the back corner of the room.

“Sorry,” Shiro murmurs, his throat scratchy. He realizes sheepishly that he must have screamed himself awake. He reaches out to take the water from Coran, but he’s shaking so much that he almost drops it. Matt catches his hand and steadies the cup as Shiro brings it to his mouth.

“May I…?” Allura asks under her breath.

“Hey Shiro, Allura’s here. She’s gonna rub your back. Is that okay?” Matt says calmly.

Shiro nods shakily. This situation can’t get any more embarrassing, so he might as well accept the comfort. A moment later, he feels a steady hand rest against his upper back. Allura rubs gently with her thumb while keeping her palm firmly planted against Shiro’s shoulder blade. He can feel his shaking begin to subside.

“Um, can someone tell me what’s going on?” asks Hunk from the other bed, voice oozing with worry, “Is Shiro okay?”

“He’s fine,” Pidge explains matter-of-factly, “He has nightmares, sometimes. It’s unsurprising that he’d have one tonight, considering we were just on a plane. He was in a plane crash, after all.” There’s not a hint of pity in her voice, just cold hard logic. Sometimes Shiro is grateful for this kid’s penchant for bluntness. This is one of those times.

“Oh,” says Hunk, “Yeah, that explains a lot. Shiro, can I give you a hug?”

Matt looks down at Shiro, who nods, “Yeah, c’mere.”

Hunk climbs out of bed and makes his way over to Shiro, stumbling over several shoes and suitcases along the way. When he arrives, he wraps Shiro in a crushing bear hug and murmurs, “Don’t worry about waking us up. We understand.”

“How ‘bout we get back to sleep,” suggests Shiro when he pulls away from Hunk’s embrace, “We’ve all got along day ahead of us, tomorrow.” His voice is weak but steady.

“Will you be alright?” asks Allura, resting her fingertips on Shiro’s shoulder.

“He’ll be fine,” Matt says before Shiro can open his mouth to respond, “But I’m gonna join you guys’ bed, if you don’t mind. The flight here was rough. I think I’ll sleep better if I can feel Shiro breathing.”

“Fine by me,” Allura says with a smile.

“I’m happy to relocate to give you more space!” says Coran, approaching Hunk and Pidge’s bed, “It’ll give me an opportunity to mingle with our younger traveling companions.”

“Okay, but Hunk sleeps in the middle,” says Pidge, clearly not keen on the idea of sleeping next to a near-stranger.

“It’ll be a me sandwich!” Hunk declares gleefully, flopping back into bed.

With that, everyone settles back into their respective beds. Shiro move to lay down on his side, but Matt rolls him over onto his back and crawls under the covers to lay on top of him. The pressure is soothing, and Shiro relaxes almost immediately. “Thanks Matt,” he whispers into his friend’s hair.

“Don’t sweat it,” Matt whispers back, “I needed this, too.”

A moment later, Allura scoots closer so her warm back is resting comfortingly against Shiro’s arm.

It doesn’t take long for him to drift off to sleep this time.

_Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all._

**Author's Note:**

> This was written partially as an excuse for gratuitous platonic bed-sharing and partially as a kind of Shiro and Slav relationship study. Eventually I'm gonna write some canon-verse Shiro and Slav interactions, because both of them are under a lot more pressure in canon-verse than they are in this AU, which makes their interactions more... intense, I guess, than they are here. (If you haven't already, go read this [excellent piece of Slav meta](http://bosstoaster.tumblr.com/post/156251380767/an-important-note-on-slav-ive-made-no-secret) by Bosstoaster.)
> 
> If you wanna come say hi, I'm [Agapostemon](https://agapostemon.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr!
> 
> Also: Please remember that I write purely for fun and catharsis. My fics are unbeta’d and minimally proofread. They’re not perfect, and that’s okay. If you notice something I could fix or improve, please keep those thoughts to yourself. If I genuinely want critique, I’ll ask a close friend in private. **Surprise critiques are very stressful and discouraging.** Thanks for understanding!


End file.
